How to Sell Yourself
Elyse Archer, She Sells
Elyse Archer is the founder of She Sells, a coaching program for women in sales who are revolutionizing the way sales are done. A thought leader whose insights have been featured in major media including Forbes and Inc, Elyse is passionate about empowering women to sell in a way that leverages their natural gifts and helps them build wealth along the way. She is an international keynote speaker and host of She Sells Radio, where she shares best practices from female entrepreneurs and sales professionals who have accomplished extraordinary goals.
Prior to founding She Sells, Elyse served as a Partner in an 8-figure international sales coaching organization, where she helped sales professionals achieve their goals.
Outside of She Sells, Elyse is also a founding team member of Brand Builders Group, a personal branding strategy firm. Her client list includes New York Times bestselling authors, top 100 podcast hosts, and 8-figure entrepreneurs as well as leaders who are earlier in their journey and committed to scaling their influence, impact and income.
Learn more about Elyse at
Instagram: @elysearcher
FB: https://www.facebook.com/elysearcherpersonalbranding
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elysearcher/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ElyseArcher
Listen to She Sells Radio: www.Elysearcher.com/podcast
It’s the biggest challenge most people bump up against…you’re always selling yourself.
One of the biggest challenges…is a lack of confidence in yourself.
Other people’s view of you will just be a mirror of your view of yourself.
For so many years, I would look for validation from the outside….my sale’s manager…men…you name it.
I looked to clients to validate what I had was good.
I woke up one day and realized that no one’s going to validate me until I validate myself….What am I waiting for? I’m giving my power away to other people….That was a big mindset shift for me.
Things that may seem small and unrelated, like complimenting yourself.
How often do we look in the mirror and focus on the one thing we don’t like?
I would get off a call…and if they didn’t buy, I would beat myself up over it. And I didn’t realize how much I was degrading my confidence and my self worth.
Complimenting yourself. Speaking to yourself as someone who has the sales that you desire, who has the type of clients you desire, who brings in the amount of money you desire…because what you describe you prescribe.
When you say anything that follows the words ‘I am…’ it is a direct command to your subconscious mind to make that more of your reality.
So, whatever you want to be a reality about yourself, then say it. Say it out loud and say it to yourself.
She Sells has kind of taken on a life of its own and now I get to teach things I never thought I would teach.
What I found was, so much of what’s taught is ‘use this script’, ‘use this process’, ‘say these words’, ‘do this thing’ and you must get this result. When I tried that…I would get incremental gains…but I still felt stuck.
So many make it look like they have it all together on the outside, but on the inside, they are struggling…
I didn’t realize how important the inner game was to the sales game until I started doing a lot of my own inner work.
I have a client in financial services….you would look at this woman and think she is the most confident person in the world…she’s also a spin instructor…in her class, there is a leader board in the front of the room…if she notices that she is rising to the top and she finds herself in that #2 spot, her automatic reflex is to slow down. Because what would it mean if she was #1? ….this stuff goes deep….she realized that same phenomenon that’s happening in my spin class is happening in my company.
We have to learn to become the person who has the sales that we desire, who has the clients we desire, who has the opportunities that we desire and that starts from the inside out. What thoughts would that person think? How worthy would they feel? What actions would they take?
I was stuck…for 10 years….when I learned how to create the thoughts of a woman who has a 7 figure business, how to feel worthy of the money I desired and take those actions…in 6 weeks I went from having $10K months to $100K months.
It’s that they actually learned to feel worthy of what they want and practice that feeling and release the limiting beliefs that are holding them back from what they want.
I have yet to find anyone who doesn’t have some sort of limiting belief…
One of the biggest things I see for women specifically is a challenge with receiving…you have to feel comfortable receiving money. You have to feel comfortable receiving that acknowledgment…and for a lot of women, there have been a lot of contingencies with receiving.
You can have the money if I can backhand you…
We so often learn that if we receive something, there’s conditions, or it comes with punishment.
So many women….beautiful, vivacious…learned that there was a target on their back…so they learned to minimize who they were..they learned to play small
When we feel afraid to ask for money, when we feel afraid to be visible, that’s actually a part of you…that’s actually your inner child….that’s part of you that learned early on it’s not safe to receive…
We all have something, whether it’s micro trauma or something bigger, that we suppress and hold in our bodies.
I use archetypes a lot…that Goddess archetype…every woman has that in her.
When we feel afraid…that’s our little girl…and she’s just trying to protect you and trying to keep you safe….but, we can’t have her running the show.
I had a lot of baggage that I didn’t know I was carrying around…and that 7 year old had a lot of say…
The other big piece is healing the relationship with money.
I could not understand why, for so many years of my life, I could make money but was in constant fear of it going away….I was always a top producer…but I was in constant anxiety that there would never be enough…
Money’s just energy…and money, energetically, for a lot of people represents security…whatever issues you learned from your parents…those issues will play themselves back out in your relationship with money.
There’s so much healing to realize it’s not actually about the money….we can learn to heal and create a new relationship with money.
If you want to know what your relationship is with money…write a letter to it and tell it how you feel about it…listen to that language. If that was a human, would they have really wanted to be around me?…If you wanted to have the most beautiful, loving, intimate relationship with someone, how would you talk to them?
When you start to think of it as a person, it will always respond to you in kind. It’s just energy. So whatever energy you put out towards it, it’s going to be mirrored back to you equally.
It doesn’t matter what you’re selling. You income will never exceed your level of self worth.
Stop avoiding what’s hurting you.
…it was in the process of deciding I was no longer available to struggle..and that involves looking at it head on…and stop numbing and face it head on…you will experience a level of freedom…of possibility…opportunity that you cannot even fathom right now.
Trust yourself.
Write a NY Times best selling book.
A sales planner/ journal and a crystal.
@elysearcher
She Sells Radio
Audio: Ariza Music Productions