When Women Rock : Disney to Death Metal
My name is Haydee Irizarry, lead vocalist of Carnivora, solo artist at Zahra Lux, and designer at Haus of Zahra Lux (custom leather and paintings).
Haydee Irizarry studied jazz, classical and contemporary music at Berklee College of Music where she also became lead singer of the metal band Carnivora. Irizarry composes under the name Zahra Lux, offering the listener a glimpse into her soul/R&B side.
www.haydeeirizarry.com
https://carnivora.bandcamp.com/
https://zahralux.bandcamp.com/
www.marlanasemenza.com
Audio : Ariza Music Productions
Transcription : Vision In Word
Marlana
Haydee Irizarry is a musician and artist. She studied jazz, classical and contemporary music at Berklee College of Music, where she also became the lead singer, the middle band carnivore. Welcome, Haydee!
Haydee
Hi, thank you for having me.
Marlana
So, what brought you into music in the first place?
Haydee
Well, when I was growing up, I went to a Lutheran grade school. And I was surrounded by music and this gorgeous piano that my teachers were using and that connection to reading hands every week and seeing that instrument, just shine, sparks something really special in me. And that's how it began as a three.
Marlana
Okay, which explains a lot knowing and seeing your range. So how did you go from church music to metal band?
Haydee
Well, oddly enough, so yeah, starting from three, you know, for my fourth birthday, I was like, I want a piano. And I spent four years from there working on, you know, the hymns and everything. But I wrote in my journal, at eight years old, I want to be a rock and metal singer. So somewhere along the line, and I remember listening to contemporary music, and be like, what's that? That's really cool. Okay, that's the next thing I want to pursue now. So since then, I searched for avenues that would allow me to pursue contemporary music, like the School of Rock, and just listening to albums that were a little bit heavier than, you know, your average him. My favorite hands were always the one and minor anyways, the darker ones.
Marlana
So, because I've seen you literally within a fraction of a second go from singing, Disney and sounding like a Disney princess to death metal, which was amazing to me, because your range is outstanding, your talents are amazing. When you do that, do you have to shift gears in your head as well? Like, is there a process to that?
Haydee
Absolutely! Those two different vocal tones come from different mechanisms of the voice. And it has been trained to be an immediate switch. You know, when I was starting, you're figuring out where the proper placement is. But you know, over time with the music that I've done over the years, that switch has become effortless, but it's definitely coming from a different place that needs to be supported very well. Or else it's, you know, vulgaris forever
Marlana
Did you have to? Or, what was the process to learn that, to learn where those different sounds came from, and how to make them?
Haydee
The process began actually when I was in college at Berkeley. There are a lot of ensembles that supported metal music there. There's a heavy metal opera, metal ensembles, and that I really wanted to pursue, and I saw that as an opportunity to grow in that sound. So honestly, a lot of YouTube and trial and error. Now, the learning is everywhere. But at that time, it did seem more minimal. Like there's the Zen of screaming and YouTube video. So, it was a lot of trial and error for myself because everyone's body is different, and you literally cannot see what's going on, you can really feel it. So, it was a big learning curve. For me.
Marlana
Were there people that you in particular would try and emulate?
Haydee
Oh, absolutely. At the time I was, I am still a big fan of Elisa Y Plus from Arch Enemy, but she was in the Agonist, and I really loved her range as well. I was just me, how do I get that low full sound? How do I get that high kind of like screechy sound, but with it being still full. And then Tatiana from Ginger was being influenced and an Angela the original singer of Arch Enemy, or the second singer of Arch Enemy. Yeah, big fans.
Marlana
Let's say with bodybuilders, you start off and you can lift a small amount, and then as you keep going and going, you can lift more and those muscles get stronger. Is it the same with singing?
Haydee
Oh, 100%. That's actually how I describe it all the time. But it is like, because these are muscles, and in order to grow more muscle, you need to tear and then repair it and grow upon that. So extremely Yeah, when I was first started doing that death metal style, or when anyone first started, they really should only do what I would say is the equivalent of equivalent of like a five-pound weight. And for a short amount of time, you know, just pure vowels, and then just getting the sound first. And then from there, you can do a single word, and then go from there to two words. So, it definitely is like, very similar progression to I would say, bodybuilding.
Marlana
And you mentioned in there that, you know, it's a tearing down and building up process. And I know with bodybuilding, there is that kind of ripping the muscle, so to speak which frightens me when I think about using that same analogy for muscles in your throat. But, is it the same?
Haydee
I have to be honest, my journey with it did feel kind of similar. It wasn't structured by a professional. At the time a developing professional on I was doing a lot of trial and error, like taking my skill set from standard singing and seeing how it applied. And there are a lot of mistakes that people make along the way. But I learned from that. And with my knowledge, I understood like, oh, I made that mistake here. I'm going to pause, rest. And try it again when it's appropriate. Because you're not going to get it right the first time. So that was something that I was so passionate about doing that I was okay. Going through that trial and error, I really felt in my heart like I wanted to pursue that. And I had a lot to say with that part of me in that voice. So, to me Yeah.
Marlana
You know, here's the interesting thing to me, because I've heard you sing Frank Sinatra. I know you do jazz. What's your favorite?
Haydee
My favorite? Oh, honestly, right now, my favorite is blues, and jazz. I love it. And as I'm getting older, my voice is changing and becoming more mature. And I feel really good singing that style of music and growing it and get it because oddly enough, while I was at Berkeley, you know, they're very contemporary jazz school, I went the opposite route learning something really aggressive. So, I'm kind of circling back to that and finding flavanone What about a dealer? I love how vibrant it is, and colorful and the lyrics are fun. And the music is fun. I like you know, big fan hits and just being a little bit more theatrical in that way. You know, do you think
Marlana
it's important to because you kind of mentioned that your voice is changing, and your kind of leaning into that. Do you think that it's important to recognize that about ourselves? As somebody's voice changes or something to it may lend itself to a different style. Do you think it's important to kind of explore those things and lean into them?
Haydee
Oh, absolutely. I'm doing that currently. So, over the pandemic, I close the chapter and one of the bands that grew my death metal stuff. out averse. And I created what I feel like is a stunning album with them. But I was listening to my heart, I was like, I don't feel like I need to do this particular style anymore. I need to trust myself and see where this new journey is taking me. And making that decision, even though it was bittersweet, it has only been fruitful and brought me joy. You know, the last thing I wanted was to not feel inspired with music. And that is a disservice to the folks that you're sharing those songs with. So, I would say absolutely follow that. And, you know, never burn any bridges. Just follow your heart and trust that it's going to be exactly what you want it to be.
Marlana
You know, and I think a lot of people miss that, in the sense that art in so many things is a journey. If you look at Picasso and where he began versus where he finished, two very different places. So, it's leaning into what we're inspired by and where our accounts take us. Because I know you're up in the Boston area, what's the music scene like in that area?
Haydee
It's a very diverse, especially having a school like Berkeley around. There are venues everywhere. They're scattered about, but the music that's being performed is a high quality. And that's very special for the community of Boston to have a gift like that. There are underground punk and metal and slushy Dumi bands and all sudden, there's more posh jazz trios at the cocktail clubs there. You could just find anything if you really, really look for it. I think it's great. You know, I've been happy with it so far.
Marlana
What's been the best part of the journey and the hardest part of the journey so far for you?
Haydee
Of being a musician? The best part of the journey I would say, have been the people that I've met. You know, I think they're also amazing and talented. Like I'm very grateful to meet so many different types of artists doing what I do. sound engineers, makeup artists, models, photographers, videographers, painters, seamstresses, you know, everything that involves the visual arts that all of it I need in my life, you know, so these folks come into my life and they're just so inspiring. So that has been a blessing. The hardest part is always just keeping the faith knowing that you are doing something beautiful and meaningful. In times of these my cat.
Marlana
I heard those little feet Coco cute!
Haydee
She wants to be in the hardest part. What is the hardest part just for her? It's me being away. But the hardest part is Yeah, keeping them safe and knowing that what you're doing is meaningful and contributing to society and not letting anything get you down. You know, those instances happen in their own ways. But they get easier and easier to just dodge. They really do. When you love something so much, it's just like, oh, it's past. You know? That's my answer.
Marlana
So, when you create a song or anything, even a piece of art, do you create it for you or do you create it for potential commercial gain?
Haydee
Well, I'd definitely start with something that I'm feeling internally even though you know, in school, I studied oh, we need to make Commercial Music for this cat food company. There is that mindset of it, but my songs have always just been about feel and how I feel in the moment and what the song is telling me. And what I like to hear. So that probably leads into the commercial aspect. Like, I listen to what's going on. And I think what I want to hear this is this a melody that, you know, makes me happy perform that someone will be excited about. But as you know, with carnivora my ban now, I am starting to think about that accessibility, but not in an overly I don't know, commercial business. Just this catchiness, you know, fun, what's going to be a hook that's going to make us all excited. And make the listener be like, I love that part of the song. I want to have it in my kitchen while I'm doing the dishes, you know, getting better with that.
Marlana
How do you get eyes on you? How do you promote yourself?
Haydee
As an artist?
Marlana
Yeah w
Haydee
Well, there's so many different avenues and you know, I have my online presence, which is a really big factor for a lot of artists, you know, making video clips, reels, you know, cover videos on YouTube, any way to get your stuff out there. Visually, online has been a big thing for me signing up for opportunities, like modeling for club, my friends clothing company, or, you know, helping out here and there. And playing shows, obviously, you know, really getting out there is the most important part, booking gigs, showing up to support other artists see what's going on is really important. And most recently, I got a job in the Boston Arts community. So that has been huge for me to need a more artists and just being around seeing what's going on. There's so many different ways to approach it, and everyone is different. So, whatever makes you feel the most comfortable, but yourself. Yeah, I would say is how you get yourself out there. Just always create and always be a supporter of the creative arts.
Marlana
I don't think a lot of people get that aspect of it also, because so many people look at things where it's a sense of competition, or a scarcity mentality that if somebody is doing something or even from a sense of comparison, I'm going to compare myself to this one or compare myself to that one, but there's so much to be gained by seeing what other people are doing and supporting other people in what they're doing.
Haydee
Absolutely! Yeah. That was a big lesson for me at Berkeley because there was this overflow kind of, in a way kind of too much. Stimulation overload. There's so many opportunities to support everyone. It was kind of a balance, figuring out that balance for you. But that it's yes, it's extremely important to just show up and not see it as a competition because that's not what it's about, you know, music. That's not what it's about. It's about it in being inclusive. And I think about that very often. Now, how I can be more involved in the in supporting others Yeah,
Haydee
do you believe in the together we rise mentality? That you know, if the community helps one another?
Haydee
Yeah, of course, especially being a woman, metal, and rock, we're rising. Everything I see there's just another badass woman coming out of nowhere and I'm like, Yes, that's great. Wow, that's amazing. I love it, I love to see it. I love to see what they're wearing, you know, like, Oh, that's a great outfit, I love to see, you know, what their voice, their messages, and what they're trying to do with their artistry. I think it's amazing. And I do. Yeah. I love that.
Marlana
Because I feel like the presence of women in rock overall has been minimal, and over the years it's seeming to be shifting. Do you think that was for lack of interest in it by women? Or do you think it was lack of opportunity?
Haydee
I would say definitely not lack of interest. Because women have been doing this for a long time, I would say, you know, lack of opportunity and a way to see for people to see it, you know, in the mainstream and regularly. Because I feel like a lot of new women were underground and trying to find a way to get seen. You know, when people talk to me about being a metal vocalist, they're like, I just haven't seen any of this. And it's because it's not really in the forefront. You know, you have to do a lot of digging, or be at that place at the right time. Which, you know, goes back to showing up. Yeah. Who's on this bill tonight at the bar across the street? You know?
Marlana
Yeah. Nice! I know that you work both with the band, but you also do a lot of solo work. How is it different? What do you gain from one versus the other?
Haydee
So, the band fulfills that dream of mine, that eight-year-old dream, I want to be a rock and metal singer, you know, surrounded by distorted guitars and just delays and grooving drums and you know, low end. I love that. Because that's not something that I'm going to create on my own. I need that community of my guys to combine all of our different influences into something that's unique to us, but in a genre that we all love, extremely. So that is different and unique in itself. And I'm like, extremely blessed to be in that setting. But the solo stuff, is everything around that dream. It's another part. It's the classical music that I grew up loving. It's the jazz music. It's the blues music that I grew up listening to with my mom. It's those inspirations and those dreams that I also want to happen, why to nourish, but are more way more personal. And I believe limitless. So, I'm excited to have created a name called Zahra Lux, which is what I put my solo stuff on her to be that creative person and see where I can go with it. So, it's anything and everything I want.
Marlana
So as a musician, what would you like to be known for other than I have to say, if you ever watch honey perform live any kind of rock or metal or whatever, her hair is a whole thing. She really needs a t shirt that says, you know, stand back six feet or what because it's a weapon.
Haydee
That's true.
Marlana
But other than that, what would you like to be known for musically?
Haydee
I'm just a blushing! As a musician I wouldn't want to be known for creating an impact on the listener and the viewer, you know, touching people's hearts ear with my voice or a certain musical passage. The whole point is to inspire, that would be my first hope. But I guess also to just be fearless and just put yourself out there because I do have a lot of anxiety going up on stage, it is a very vulnerable thing. And I want to inspire people to not give a s**t, excuse my line, just go up there, make those mistakes, and be okay with making those mistakes. Because then you can fix them, or work on them and get better.
Marlana
So how do you combat that anxiety before you go on stage or when you step on stage?
Haydee
I definitely would attribute that I do a lot of meditation these days. And that helps me a bunch. Just being mindful, being compassionate, to where I am in that moment is a huge, huge help. I tell myself to give myself a pep talk, like, because I am anxious, I am afraid. But the whole point is to be fearless. And I drink some water, I do my stretches, I do my warmups, I prepare. And if I'm still feeling anxious, I tell myself, you know, I did everything I can do in the moment. And I just have to go for it. And the majority of the time, the moment I step on the stage, it just goes away like that. Or, you know, some little mistake happens. But I've made so many over the years that it's like, it doesn't affect me as much. I'm like, okay, noted. Flat there noted. Bring batteries note.
Haydee
And I'm sure we, as you recognize things, notice things that we as an audience would not. I will share this with you. Because a gentleman that trains a lot of speakers and things like that had shared with me, he said, one of the ways to combat anxiety is, generally if we are anxious when we step onto a stage, we've just made it about us. Once we turn it around and make it about the audience, and about giving them something and doing something for them, then it's not about us and the anxiety will diminish.
Haydee
I'm glad you said that, because that's exactly what it is, you know, you walk up on stage, and you see those people and you can't help but smile. And just forget about your worries. Because it really is about that connection, especially when I was at the Whisky, what a legendary venue to be able to perform at and just like see everybody with the lights. And it's kind of hard to not let that be the most important thing.
Marlana
What has been your best experience on stage so far?
Haydee
Oh, I mean, I have to. I'm performing at Chicago open air, which is the big rock metal festival in 2017. With my old band reversed was amazing. Because it was this big rock stage. It, we started the festival off, but there were still maybe a couple 1000 people there. And that was the first time I got to really see like a sea of folks like coming to the stage. And the sound was perfect. It was amazing. My hair was even longer than it was phenomenal. And my mother was right in front of me. She was so proud. And I was just, I love that moment. Because I was 22 at the time. And it also showed me like, okay, I can do this. And I can do it well. So that was amazing!
The second-best performance was the Berkeley commencement concert, graduation performance, which is, I mean from a school, a graduating class of all musicians. very selective. They're very selective about who gets to perform. So, I wanted it so bad. I prepared my audition video a month and a half in advance. I did an Aerosmith song and fitting for Boston. There's the song. And basically, you know, they loved it. They must have loved it so much that I got to play the Agganis arena know this in Boston University, and it was an arena, and I was given a whole song and backup dancers. So yeah, not every singer got a whole song. And definitely not every song had backup dancer. So that was a huge gift. I wore this pink dress suit and like, magenta, like, laundry under piece. It was amazing. And we were dancing. And I was practicing with the dancers, you know, learning choreography. So that was another moment that sparked in my head, oh, I can do this too. I'm graduating college. And I can also do this pop star setup. And the sound was awesome. We hit the lights, forget about it, you know. And it was a whole arena. It was just, it was unreal. And my mom was obviously there too.
Marlana
So, if you were to close your eyes and picture your perfect scenario five years from now, 10 years from now, what would it be?
Haydee
I would want to continue performing on stages like that. And the smaller, more intimate stages, I don't want the ones that I'm doing now to go away. But I want it to keep growing. And I would love for whoever I'm playing with, or whatever style I'm playing, I want there to be a piano there.
Marlana
Because your voice is not your only instrument that you know how to use, let's just put that out there.
Haydee
From the age of three, it's always been a part of me.
Marlana
So, do you have that continue to grow?
Haydee
That would be my dream, you know, just different crowds, different venues of all sizes, and to just be performing music that I feel is both beautiful and inspiring. And with people that I love, that's where I would like to see myself basically where I'm already at now. Just keep going and see how it grows.
Marlana
Love it! And with that, Haydee, I just have four final questions for you. First one, what's the best piece of advice you're ever given?
Haydee
best piece of advice I was ever given? So, I thought about this. When I graduated high school I was studying classical still. And my teachers were like, why Berklee, why contemporary music? And I pursued it. My choral teacher believed in me so much. She was talking to me privately and this stuck with me forever. She told me how you do you can be anything or do anything you want to do musically as a creative and that was more of a statement. But at the time, I was in a very dark place, and I didn't really believe that. I knew I was capable of it, but hearing someone that I really respected look at me and tell me there's this limitless Ness in your capabilities. So that was life changing for me.
Marlana
So, share with us one thing on your bucket list.
Haydee
My bucket list. Jairo. wants to play big rock and metal festivals or view pop whatever. And my dream has always been to have Tyrone that would be so badass. Maybe in a couple of years. I hope so. Do with it. I gotta watch out right here though.
Marlana
When the toy companies finally get around to making action figures of you, what two accessories will it come with?
Haydee
So, at first, I thought a microphone, but then I was like, I love my cat so much. And my cat is basically famous. Everyone loves her. Jasmine has to be one of my accessories. And to add to the badassery and my things of interest I would love a motorcycle.
Marlana
Do you ride now?
Haydee
I have my license, but I do not ride currently. I gotta get a bike that's right for me.
Marlana
And last one, how do people find you? How do people listen to your music? How do people book you if they want to book you, all those kinds of things.
Haydee
I perform and CARNIVO Ra. That's where you'll find my rock and metal music, my band. And my solo artists name is Zahra Lux. And all of those have Instagram, Facebook, and their respective emails in the contact. My personal page Haydee Irizarry. I have my own website and you could find everything there. I'm on Spotify and all other streaming services. But yeah, my website is a great place to go to disperse and find what works for you.
Marlana
Thank you so much for being here, Haydee. I can't wait to see you perform live again.
Haydee
I can't wait to see you again. And I love all the photos that you took of us. There are some of my favorites.
Marlana
Thank you. Hopefully, we will see each other again soon.
Haydee
I would love that. I hope you have a great week.