The Head That Wears The Crown
Carli Batson - Miss North Carolina 2021 / Miss North Carolina Scholarship Organization
Originally from Wilmington, North Carolina & a current senior at Appalachian State University, Carli studies communication; Public Relations and minors in Theatre Arts. Her passion lies within the arts & she has dedicated her reign as Miss North Carolina 2021 to serving communities across North Carolina, specifically local art communities. Carli has raised over $35,000 for rural theatre communities with her social impact initiative, Carolina Cares. She is proud to be a first generation college graduate this May and a debt free one, thanks to the Miss North Carolina and Miss America Organizations.
Instagram - @missamericanc
Website - missnc.org
www.marlanasemenza.com
Audio : Ariza Music Productions
Transcription: Vision In Word
Marlana
Carli Batson has experienced the past year as Miss North Carolina 2021, originally from Wilmington and a current senior at Appalachian State University, clearly appropriately studies communication, public relations and minors in theater arts since that's where her passion lies. She is proud to be a first generation college graduate in May 2022. And a debt free one thanks to the Miss North Carolina and Miss America organizations. Welcome Carli.
Carli
Hi, thank you so much for having me today. Well, I'm so so excited to do this.
Marlana
So here's the thing. June of 2021, they announced your name, you win a title and you get thrown into the public eye. What has been the best part of that? Oh,
Carli
my goodness, that's such a hard question to start off with. But I get this question quite often. And what I always say and what will probably always be my answer is the amount of people that I've been able to meet, but the amount of different types of people I've been able to meet, in one weekend, I could be at the poetry Jubilee, and then at a senior citizen center, and then reading to students. And you know, you never get to really understand how broad our state is, as a community and how, how different we are and how special and unique that is, until you're kind of in a position like this. So I've been super, super grateful for that. And being able to make so many connections this year, and hopefully, some professional connections going forward. And it's just the journey of being myself. I think, in this conversation, we'll get into it more. But that's what a lot of people forget. When the crown gets put on your head, or you get an amazing opportunity, they forget that you're an actual human being with actual real human being problems, too. So it's been difficult to balance everything, especially still being a full time student. I'm graduating in a couple of days from Appalachian State. So being able to balance everything has been kind of chaotic, but I couldn't have done it without the amazing support system I have, and how welcoming our state has been of myself, even with all the challenges that I brought to my, to the table on my own.
Marlana
So what do you think, has been the most difficult part of the job or the part that you wish that you had been either better prepared for or better warned about?
Carli
Right. So I think in today's society as a whole, the role of a title holder, especially in the Miss America organization, has turned from, she's still a social advocate in her community, but even more, so she has to be able to display that on social media, and almost become more of an influencer on social media. So that was something I was completely uncomfortable with. Moving into this role, I didn't have that pretty much of a social media presence to begin with. I wasn't super comfortable talking and being candid and transparent on social media. So at the beginning of my range, figuring out what I wanted my Instagram to look like, and what I wanted, you know, my social media presence to portray was, was quite difficult. And if I'm being quite honest with myself, I have grown to find out that what I was doing at start of my year on the internet is wasn't exactly what I needed to be doing. Everything was kind of posed perfect. And I was trying super hard to only display my best cells online. But what I've learned is that that's not what people want to see. They don't really care about the curls and the makeup and the eyelashes and the crowns and the sparkles. They want to know what I'm doing on a Tuesday afternoon, Monday afternoon. So that's been a challenge for sure. I wish I had been a bit more prepared. But in that challenge, I think I have become a lot more comfortable with myself and a lot more comfortable displaying myself in a public eye as just who I am. And you know, I'm just a regular girl next door. I grew up in Wilmington, North Carolina. We're a blue collar ship working family. My family doesn't come from much. I'm not a primadona, primadona Princess by any means. I'm just someone that was given an incredible opportunity. And I want to make it clear and known not only across our state but in the world that that opportunity is available. Well for anyone, even people that are just like me.
Marlana
So how do you draw the line between your personal life and what you want to keep private versus how much people seem to want from
Carli
you? Hmm. Challenging, I think it's very situational. I think to a certain extent, it's important to be transparent and authentic on social media. But at the same time, some of the struggles that I experienced and some of the experiences that I have in my life are personal to me or my family, or my friends. So being able to kind of share more of what I'm feeling than necessary the situation, I found that in the Miss America organization, and then the mist North Carolina organization, there are a lot of not secrets, but secrets that you might have to hold back before they're officially announced by the organization itself. So in those things this past year, you know, I would be stressed out about something huge that was happening at the Miss America competition, but I couldn't tell the world that they couldn't know that. So it was more so being like, gearing up for Miss America, you know, stressful doing this, balancing this, and all the things but not necessarily saying, hey, world, this is exactly what's going on right now. Come into my life, because that does get a little scary. And I think overall, in a bigger sense, beyond social media, it's about keeping your circle small. And I have to say that the group of people that have supported and surrounded me, before I was crowned Miss North Carolina, are still the people that I go to for advice and to vent and to have my truest, most raw conversations with.
Marlana
And it's so important to have our circle that support us has ever been. Not that and I don't want to in any way, it seemed that you aren't completely grateful for this job and opportunity. But has it ever been too much at times? Has it ever really gotten to you the way to battle? Absolutely. So
Carli
first and foremost, incredibly, extremely grateful for the opportunity in what I would take all the stress, and all the chaos, because of all the magic that comes with it. Absolutely. But absolutely, it has gotten too much. I remember right around November, we were gearing up for the huge Miss America competition in December. And I actually had to break up with my boyfriend. And things got real and Carly's life, really had to take the forefront for a good amount of time. But I was in the height of prepping for Miss America. So I was going from mock interviews, to therapy to all sorts of events across our state as Miss North Carolina. And that was a lot. So I just had to look at myself one day and tell myself that you can't do this job. If you don't take care of yourself. You we have to block in the meals we have to block in showering, we have to block in homework time, we have to do these normal human things that normal people would do all the time. But for some reason I was forgetting because of everything else that was on my plate. But my body was just telling me to stop, you know, stop and eat, stop and take a shower, stop and call your best friend, stop and call your mom. And I just had to reach out to my executive director and minus North Carolina team and say, hey, look, I know the Miss America pageant is coming up in a few weeks. But I feel like I'm about to fall apart. Can I just take a week to breathe. And they were like, Oh my gosh, we had no idea. Please like, Take as much time as you need, let us know if we can help you. So in that moment, what I learned most is that sometimes when we aren't okay, or sometimes when things feel like there's too much everyone around us isn't experiencing that internally. So you have to be able to vocalize it and you have to kind of knock your ego to the side just a bit and have that conversation with the people that can help you and have the resources to help you. Because doing it all on my own wasn't gonna
Marlana
happen. Yeah. So let's talk about mental health for a minute and dive into that a little bit more. In what ways has has this been a challenge to your mental health and what have you done to try and take care of that? Yeah,
Carli
so I think in being any sort of public figure or having a role that makes you a present figure, whether that's in your community or your state, or even across The country is, is a big toll on just your self image. Comparison issues have been maxed this year. So what I've really had to work on personally, is being my best self. And sometimes my best self doesn't look like Miss Colorado's best self or miss South Carolina's best self, or whomever you're surrounded, and you're in this community with incredible, accomplished, talented, beautiful women. So it's hard to look in the mirror and put yourself on the same kind of level as the people that you have daily conversations with. So kind of looking at myself and a higher stance than I had before in the past was a big jump for me at first. And really understanding that, you know, I was given this opportunity, not only because that they had faith in me, but because I proved to the judges that they could trust me this year with this title and these obligations and these opportunities. So that's something that I earned just like the next URL. But comparison, and especially with social media, and the technology we have today has definitely definitely been the biggest struggle. But I also have to say the sisterhood of Miss America does a great job of shutting that down. It's hard to shut down in your own brain. But the first second, I start to feel down about myself or less confident, I know that I have 51 Sisters, across the state on an iPhone, and then the Miss North Carolina organization in the family that we've created in the sisterhood there is so strong, and all of those women just as incredible as they are on paper, and their resumes and their accolades, and the things that they could list and impress you with for days. They're also just really great friends, and true women that puts supporting other women and highlighting them before themselves, which is really awesome.
Marlana
Yeah. You know, I have various clients and friends that as they have emerged more into the public eye, when you become more visible, and people start watching what you do, and following you and things like that, they start to think that they know you, and can get sometimes I know from other clients a little more familiar than, than you really are. Have you ever experienced that? And, you know, how do you navigate that portion?
Carli
This makes me think of a time I was really struggling with my relationship with food. And not really in A Look at Myself, I don't like the way I look way, but just in finding time to take care of myself and eat and nurture my body in the way that it needed to be. And I posted a picture in a gown it was like National gown day on Instagram. So I posted a picture and a gown. And here comes the Karen's jumping on ready to tell me you know how thin I looked how unhealthy I looked, you know, it looks like I was about to fall over data. Ah, and those were the last things that I needed to hear. Um, so I think really, what's helped me the most is tuning out the haters and tuning out the people that you know, don't have any sort of value in in the conversation of your life and the conversation of who you are, where you want to go, what you're doing. You're never going to meet these people, most of them if you click on their feed and their profile, they're just computer bots to begin with. They're not even real humans. So really not letting the words get to me and focusing on you know, am I being a good friend? Am I being a good daughter? Am I being a good title holder? Am I being a good student? Am I being a good ally? These things are far more important than if Karen thinks I look okay on Facebook. So it's just having to look at something from a bigger picture and not getting too drawn into the haters.
Marlana
Term. Yeah. And you know, I also want to touch on this too, because woman that we both knew Cheslie Kryst several months ago, committed suicide and she was so accomplished and I know the gold standard for a lot of people in the pageant community and a lot of people just in general, because she was outstanding in so many ways. And I know that that rocked me a little bit. And I saw it kind of rocked you and a lot of the girls in the Miss North Carolina and Miss America and miss you USA organizations. What did that do to you?
Carli
Ah, so Cheslie's death completely gut punch me. It came at a time in my life where I wasn't taking care of myself wasn't doing well wasn't feeling my best. But still was having this social media presence where if you clicked on my page, you wouldn't know that at all. So I was heartbroken. And I tried my best to stay off the internet for as long as I could. But then something happened inside me that I think Cheslie was able to do for a lot of us, especially pageant girls. Then it kind of lit this fire in me. And I was like, Wait a second, these people that follow me the 25,000 people that follow me, they have six more months to get to know me. I'm gonna tell them the truth. Like it's done. There's nothing to portray, there's no one to convince anymore. And I think at the time of Cheslie's passing, as the punch and hurt we all were in confused and searching for answers. We really understood the importance of being honest, even when it's hard, and really showing maybe the not so pretty side of but we do as pageant folders. So I think it was a day or two after the news, I made this post and it was basically pictures of me and a sash and a crown with tears streaming down my face. me asleep on the couch in my apartment after a long day. It was just you know, the raw honest truth of not every day is sunshine and sparkles and rainbows. There are those dates in those days are fabulous. And that's what keeps us all doing this job. But roped in and weaved into these incredible opportunities and amazing moments is real life and do lot due dates and deadlines. And you know, work that has to be done within yourself that we can't really forget about. And I think in social media as a whole, not only in the pageant community, we do a really bad job of just putting, you know, the prettiest pictures or the best looks, you know, I'm doing great. Look at my resume, look at all these things. I'm done. Without saying, you know, I couldn't be at this yesterday because I had therapy because I deal with anxiety and depression every single day. And I just think we're at a time in our life. That that's okay to talk about. And it's important to talk about. And so with Cheslie's passing, for me, it really just, even more so encouraged that, you know, you only had a certain amount of time left in this job, make it count, and make it available to the next Miss North Carolina and the next Miss North Carolina, to be able to have that open space on social media and be able to, you know, portray who they really are. Not just what they want the world to see.
Marlana
Yeah, I said, I said, But good thing, I think that came out of that is that it seemed like a reality check for many and, and it gave a lot of women permission to say, Yeah, I'm not okay, too. For sure. Absolutely. And it's really so important to be able to have those conversations.
Carli
lately. I remember seeing just, you know, the floods of Facebook posts and Instagram and you text messages on my phone conversations that I had in person with people that you know, after Cheslie's passing, it really was that reality check of Wait a second. I I know her like, I know that girl. I've been there too. I've had those feelings. I've thought about that. Um, so yeah, it's sad. But if anything, I think Chelie's death really might have rescued a lot more of us than we think. Which is the
Marlana
thing that I think is the beautiful thing that came out of it if there's a beautiful thing out of it, right? Yeah. So what would you say to any girl that has your position going forward or any position in the public space going forward?
Carli
I'd say keep your circle small. Know who is really in that circle for your best interest? Not their best interests, not their business's best interests. Your sole best interest, not Miss North Carolina's best interest but your soul best interests and cling to those people. Trust in those people. We'll talk to those people have great communication skills, not just on stage, have those communications skills with your boss, have those communication skills with your travel manager, your business manager, your social media person, everyone in your close circle, whether that's your mom, your dad, your friends, or your boss, you need to have those types of communication open. for the sole purpose of something not going smooth and easy, because most of the time, these people have you on board, and you're just along for the ride, and everything is smooth and easy. They do a great job of making sure you have everything you need, and that you're supported in the best way possible. But there are times that that can't happen or won't happen. And I know, you know, with a pandemic, we weren't sure exactly what was going on at all. So the key there was really just having those conversations, having great conversation skills, and keeping those lines of communication open, and transparent.
Marlana
What would you say is the one thing of this experience that changed you the most?
Carli
Oh, that's hard, because I want to say like, everything wrapped together, because everything has been so different. So maybe that will be made. I don't think I can pick just one thing. I think every bit of this experience in this journey, whether I was modeling a Giovanni couture gown and a fair to remember fashion show, or I was on my hands and knees in the street at discover nog river festival, talking to a little girl. All of these things combined, have made me grow as a human 10 times. I'm just how easy. I don't know how to word this. how confident I am in meeting someone new, no matter what they look like, what I think they might be interested in where they come from social socio economic status, none of the above matters. And that was something that I was not comfortable with before this experience at all. In the two times prior that I competed for Miss North Carolina, I kind of started to see the growth a bit. But it really wasn't until this year, and being kind of thrown into a lot of different things. I was kind of forced to sorry to say this balls up. And you know, be be the woman that I was one hired to be at an event but also who I wanted to be in, you know how I wanted to inspire and share the message of this organization and share the message of my social impact initiative and share the message of what I believe and what I you know, encourage others, which is just kind of plainly being a good human. Not to go into crazy, you know, political or religious things, we won't go there. But basically my rule book of life is you know, treat others the way you want to be treated, and be a good human, being a good friend, be a good ally, stick up for other people how you would want them to stick up for you. And just being able to share that across the state, I think has even so enforced it in my own life, which has made me grow into such a better human. And all of those things and all of the positions that I have in my life,
Marlana
which is wonderful. And you know, one thing I noticed in working with you, and also working with Alexandra before you and then Laura, before her is all three of you are so good at being present in every opportunity in every situation that you are put into, which I think is another beautiful thing, because not everyone does that. And I think it allows you to really enrich the experience and remember the experience and get all that you can out of that experience.
Carli
It does absolutely and I think in being present, you can't really be your most present tapped in focused self unless you are being your true self. So I think those things go hand in hand. And I know the sisterhood is very strong, but Alex specifically and I have a really great relationships. So she has been such a good friend and sister and all of the above to pick up the phone and call this year. She's come to some events with me, which has been incredible since her years were kind of crazy with COVID. But yeah, I think being present is really the key because you might not want to stand on your feet in heels all day long. But two things 150 Other women are less than that. More than that. I wanted to stand in those shoes all day long. So understand that, and then be, you're not going to be able to stand in these shoes forever. So really soak it in, take it in, take every second that you have to, you know, take mental images, I know you're the photographer, but I take mental images in my head of what's going on around me just kind of, you know, see the big picture, soak it all in, see what kind of impact you're making in either the lives of others or in the community, or within an organization, whatever it may be. It's really powerful.
Marlana
What do you hope is next for you? Oh, so
Carli
lots of things are happening for me right now. I'm graduating in a few days, which is insane. I'm from Appalachian State. I'm a Communications PR major. So my goal at first was to kind of combine my love for theater and performance, with my love for business and crisis communication, and HR and all of those things, and take a backseat in performance opportunities and kind of work in the office side of that. But I think I might have an opportunity coming up in more of a broadcasting reporting role in my hometown of Wilmington, North Carolina, so not none of that is finalized. But I think, for me, as a person, I've always been the type of person that will take an opportunity, even if they're not 100%, secure in it, and kind of figure it out as it goes. It's what I did with Miss North Carolina, it's what I've done. As a student here at Appalachian State, you know, I'm not exactly sure what its gonna be. And I might hate it. And I might not like it at all, and it might not work out. But if it's landed in my lap, I want to take that opportunity. I want to see what happens from it. I want to learn as much as I can from something new, because I think there's always something to learn in something new, but who knows. So for now, I'm heading back home to Wilmington, and hopefully, hopefully, you might see me on a TV screen pretty soon.
Marlana
I hope so. And with that, Carly, I just have four final questions for you. Okay, first one is what is the best piece of advice you're ever given?
Carli
The best piece of advice I was ever ever given was probably from my grandma. And it goes along with our conversation entirely. But she basically said that you have to love people boundlessly you have to love them past their flaws. You have to love them past their insecurities. past those mean words they might have said to you in the past when they were hungry. You know, you have to look past all of the superficial illness. And when you love someone and you have decided to have them in your life, you have to take them as they are because if you don't, they won't take you as you are and you're not always sunshine and lollipops. And if you want those people to love you at your lowest or you know at your ugliest as much as they love you when you're being crowned in North Carolina, then you have to do the same.
Marlana
Show this one thing on your bucket list.
Carli
Okay, one thing on my bucket list. I'm a theater junkie if you haven't noticed, and I'm obsessed with musicals, and I want to go to like the Greek islands where they cast it or they shot Mamma Mia. I think those are beautiful. So if anyone has any details on getting me to the Greek islands, please contact
Marlana
when the toy companies finally get around to making an action figure if you want to accessories will come with
Carli
oh man so the first accessory for sure would probably be my cell phone. Which is really lame to say I know it is but this thing has my entire world on it right now. And it's really been such an outlet for me this past year, which is wild. I never thought that a dumb cell phone could have so much power and emphasis in my life. Um, but also this isn't an accessory but it would have to have the Bob it would just have to have the bob haircut. I think any Carli anything has to have the haircut.
Marlana
Love it. And last one how do people find you?
Carli
So you can find me on Facebook as Miss North Carolina, Carli Batson and then on Instagram at Miss America in
Marlana
the love it. Thank you, Carli, and thanks so much for being here.
Carli
Thank you.